Cindy and I didn’t quite k now what to expect but we couldn’t help feeling like celebrities of sorts.  Matt Weeden & Heather Hammond, colleagues of Gwilt  made us feel right at home.  Lacy, a UNCC gerontology intern even got in a “dot-com” when Heather went missing for a few moments after a break.  This is one of their signature inventions with Matt saying “Radio 4 the Ages” and Heather chimes in “dot.com” as they explain to listeners how to reach them.

This radio program was long overdue in my opinion. “Radio 4 the Ages” is the only senior focused radio program for miles around. It airs on Charlotte’s WBCN (1660 AM) every Sunday morning at 9:30am.  Seniors need to tune in so that they can stay informed–this world is changing very fast and Gwilt’s guests are on the information cutting edge.  Senior professionals need to tune in so that they can keep abreast of what’s new or old and then add their two cents. And YOU,  need to tune in because it’s a great show and one day,  I’ll say that again with dramatic flare, oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee day you’ll be a senior if you live.

“Radio 4 the Ages”  is a worthwhile show and needs your listening support to stay on the air week after week.  If you are a business that would like to talk about a worthy senior ideal, product or service, please contact Gwilt.  ” The Charlotte Observer” reports Gwilt as saying “there is not a topic we won’t touch” .

Here’s how to check out the show featuring Transition with Care.  Click the following link:   http://www.radio4theages.com/category/past-shows/ .  Be patient if our show isn’t uploaded yet.  It will be within a matter of days.

Karen

Outside the Jewish community, JFS  may be a little known organization that helps many people in need.  I was  very impressed with what I learned and I’ll share it with you just in case you are ever working with an older and/or disabled  Jewish adult.   Natalie and others on her team who visit seniors in Mecklenburg County have a primary mission which is:  to maintain the independence and dignity of senior adults through services that address the physical, mental and emotional challenges of aging.

We all know how much fun it is to anticipate a visitor. For older adults it is even more important when their ability to get out and visit others like they may have once enjoyed doing is now hampered if it happens at all due to various conditions of the body.  Senior Outreach Services will visit Jewish residents in local nursing homes, assisted living, as well as independent living communities and at no cost. Natalie commented that if a community has a significant Jewish population,  she also plans and presents programs for the residents.

The families of  Jewish seniors and disabled individuals benefit from family consultation services.  When a family has to deal with a sudden illness,  disease, or behavior of a loved one, it can wreak havoc in their lives for awhile.  Often families find it so tough to jump into action.  This is where the consultation and guidance of trained therapists, social workers, and experienced staff  guide the family by letting them know what their options are so they can make informed decisions.

In addition, there are many, many, more services through JFS.  Some services are specifically for children, helping them with coping mechanisms, life transitions, etc.  Other services provide assistance to individuals across all life stages who may be experiencing depression, chronic illness and the like.  JFS also offers caregiver and parenting skills workshops.   Truly they seem to have thought of everything.

If you are a Jewish senior adult and/or disabled or simply new to Charlotte and want to connect with other Jewish individuals, please reach out to jfscharlotte.org .  You’ll find hope within a strong community.

Karen

The following are  some tips to help you find out what’s really going on with your loved one whether you live in the area or out of the area and even if you are getting the old  ”I’m all right” song and dance. 

1.  If you live nearby or close enough to visit, observe, observe, observe!  We learn a lot from our observations. For example, notice the following:

• Is your loved one holding onto furniture while walking through the house? 
• Is the refrigerator and/ or cabinets filled with spoiled or expired foods?
• Is important mail unopened or piling up?
• Is their appearance unkempt whereas they were once meticulous about their appearance?
• Are they spending a significant amount of time in bed or alone?
• Do you detect body odor or even the odors of burnt food?

 While this is not an exhaustive list and doesn’t necessarily indicate a problem, it should urge you to take more notice.  However observations must be followed up with more information gathering.  

2.  When gathering additional information:

• Speak gently 
• Ak your loved one whether they think there is a problem in any area of their life. 
• Don’t assume anything and remember to listen rather than seek to resolve what you think is their problem. 

One example I can think of involved a  family member harassing their father for eating so much ice cream and not enough nutritious foods until the real problem finally surfaced which was that the  ice cream was soothing to his severely sore gums.  Although he needed dental work, he had been fearful of dentists all his life.

3.  Remember that while you are concerned, you are not their parent or guardian.   It is easy, yet very demeaning to chide older adults like a parent would a child. However, resist this type of behavior.   For example, resist making the following types of statements,

• “I’m not going to visit you anymore if you keep up this bad mood.
• “You will have to take a bath today!
• “Did you stay in bed all day. . .  again?  

These types of statements are like adding salt to wounds.  I’m not suggesting that you look the other way rather I am suggesting that it  is more important how you ask the question and show concern.  Try to be as non-judgmental as possible.        

4.  If you are a longer distance concerned family member, it is much more difficult to learn how your family member is doing via the telephone, but, it is possible.  Although visual cues are significant, not everyone has that luxury.  Some will have to rely solely on what you hear from your loved one or others who report to you.  I failed my aunt because I didn’t ask the right questions.  Perhaps I still saw her frozen in time as a young, healthy woman.   

For example, one evening while speaking to her, I should have asked, “how much of your dinner did you eat last night”  rather than ”did you eat dinner last night?” , or ”how do you plan to get to your doctor’s appointment tomorrow”  rather than “are you going to your doctor’s appointment tomorrow? ”

5. Hopefully by making some small changes in the way you communicate with older relatives, you will be on the right track to discern whether something is going on with your senior family member sooner rather than later.  It is disheartening for me to see when family members make rushed  decisions for older relatives while dismissing their wants and rights before before exploring all options.  I can’t recommend geriatric care managers, social workers and counselors enough!  Their insights will guide older adults and their families to locate resources such as:

• Placement companies
• In-home care
• Therapists
• Senior centers
• Support groups 
• Adult day care centers 
• Senior housing 
• Continuing care retirement communities  

Until next time, 

Karen

Transition with Care had a very good year.  Our doors remained open to help older adults with  relocations from one home to another and  that is what was most important.  In addition, Cindy and I continued to educate the public through seminars and forums about this fairly new industry.  We were able to attend our annual convention of Senior Move Managers  in Tampa, Florida.  We hired three new employees and provided educational  leadership for two interns from UNCC. We  learned ways to save money and streamline operations. We ramped up our marketing efforts with a new website design, learned how to tweet and started a FB page.  We even found some new revenue streams.  So, in all actuality it was a very good year!

As we head into year 3,  Cindy and I as the face of Transition with Care will continue to do more of the same just because we believe in what we do and we know why we do what we do.  Our experiences will guide us as we seek to help others. Ultimately, we will dance when we see the lovely smiles and gratitude shown to us from our older customers and their families.  We will laugh at our mistakes and learn from them and ultimately we will be blessed by a wonderful loving father who knows our intentions,  abilities, and the desires of our hearts.

Have a Happy & Prosperous New Year!

Karen

Some common suggestions offered are:

1.  Stay at home if you like.  We will push boxes to the perimeter of the room so that they will not block you from getting around in your home.   We will delay packing up your bathroom of essential items and even lamps in the  bedroom until  the morning of the move.  We may assist if needed with washing your bed linens on the morning of moving day so that we can put  them back on your bed at the new home. 

2.  Stay with family, if possible. Your family will act as the liasion between you and your move manager and will keep tabs on us to see whether it is time for the big reveal.  When we have finished resettling your home, most often your family will deliver you to your door and could  stay and have dinner with you in the community’s dining room.  They will also help you with setting up/arranging for  any details that you had previously missed or didn’t think about.  

3.  Stay in the respite or guest room of your new community if one is available.  This has been effective in a number or relocations since if there isn’t  anyone to pick you up until much later or the next day, being on the premesis already prevents you from being left in the house where you may start to have regrets. Sometimes our clients may start to regret making the move or seeing so many things that  are left behind.   What is favorable is that you have begun making the adjustment to community living.

Regardless of where you stay the night before, remember to:

• Pack an overnight bag that includes  a change of clothing, wash cloth, towel and tootbrush, outerwear and any medications or other personal belongings that you might need.
• On moving day, leave the house for  awhile, perhaps for a half-day outing  until we have re-settled your new home. We prefer it when you walk into your new home and everything is all put away and there are good reasons for this which I’ll discuss in another blog.   

Happy Moving,

Karen Chisholm

A very small percentage of people will decide that the void is unacceptable.  Then they research how many others are looking for this service as well as how many others in the country/ world are providing this service.  Makes sense, right?  

This is how the National Association of Senior Move Managers (NASMM) came into being. (See Nasmm.org)  Prior to this evolving industry, people here and there who wanted to move resorted to asking friends & family during their vacations or free time, or were forced to do it themselves or sometimes did nothing at all.  Well not anymore.  With over  600 move management companies across the United States and Canada, this specialized niche market continues to grow and evolve because moving is difficult for older adults.  

Since I have moved myself on three occasions, I know first hand that moving is hard and it’s physical.  Now couple the physical aspect of moving with the emotional aspect of moving from a home where you have lived for 20, 30, or 40 years or more.  It’s even harder. The years of accumulation of stuff can weigh you down.  The loss of a spouse or an unforeseen illness precipitating a move pulls on the heart strings.   The lack of support due to family living out-of- state or the lack of close family is stressful.     This is the reason why Transition with Care (www.transitionwithcare.net), a member of NASMM  was founded in Mecklenburg County.

Happy Veterans Day!

Karen

As Senior Move Managers helping older adults downsize, move and resettle into retirement and assisted living communities, we have heard their various concerns that produce stress or that can cause mild irritation to them.  Some are concerned about sharing meals in dining rooms at specific times, the difference of how some dishes are prepared and seasoned, living in close proximity to others, whether or not they will like their new home, and the fear of making new friends.

When it comes to the dining room, we encourage our clients to talk to managers, administrators, and even the chef about any dissatisfaction regarding meal preparation or service. It has been our experience that communities will try to accommodate and please residents as much as they can. But be realistic, the chef is having to accommodate for the taste buds and possible health concerns of all the residents. No easy job! I know for a fact that no one will ever be able to make mash potatoes like my mom did. However, consider taking a few of your favorite recipes with you and see if the chef would be able to prepare it for you and the other residents. I know it’s been done before.

We often hear concerns such as, “I won’t know a soul there” or “How am I going to remember everyone’s names?”  This concern causes a lot of anxiety and it is similar to leaving home and going away to school for the first time. Its’ scary! I remember when I went off to college, I was a nervous wreck!

It goes without saying that community living means encountering people throughout the day.  It is designed to help make socializing easier. But this may take some getting used to, not everyone is accustomed with so much face to face interaction on a regular basis. Let the marketing director or building administrator know what your socializing preferences are and if they have a welcome committee or a buddy system in place. This can be very helpful to getting acclimated to your new surroundings.

We offer these suggestions to our clients prior to the move and following the move that can reduce the stress that often comes with moving and resettling:

• Sleep—Getting enough sleep and rest is important for our central nervous system and brain function—short cat naps are great for the older adult.  Deep breathing also helps with relaxation which promotes sleep.
• Exercise—Regular and consistent exercise is an aid to a good night’s rest, improves our circulatory system, wards off depression and improves our self confidence. If the community employs an activities director let them know what you enjoy or would like to try.
• Socialize– This may be easy or difficult but it is important to reach out to others for support and to offer support as well. Developing and maintaining supportive connections with others increases your sense of wellbeing as well as maintaining a positive outlook.
• Be your own best friend—We encourage our clients to be aware and practice good self care.  In other words, practice the advice you might give to someone that is experiencing the same feelings and concerns you have and take care of yourself.

With all this being said, keep in mind that everybody adjusts differently and in their own time frame. Some older adults adjust quickly and easily while others have told us it took them close to a year before home felt like home again. But be patient, it will happen.

Best Wishes~

Cindy

In addition, elderly persons require patient, sensitive, creative and objective help to execute a smooth move;  but, regardless of how smooth a move is does not vanquish the ill effects of Relocation Stress Syndrome (RSS) .  We have seen first hand the effects of RSS  or Transfer Trauma and know that it occurs in about 95%  of all the older adults we have moved thus far, regardless of whether they have lots of support from their families or little support from their families and regardless of whether the move is anticipated or not.  Moving is a process and requires an adjustment period.  It simply takes time and the more time a person has to actually start the downsizing process makes the move a little easier on the older adult or anyone for that matter.   However we have found that most of our clients have waited 1-5 years too long before making the decision to move and then they feel rushed because there is so much to do before they can get into their new home. 

Deborah Seay, SAHMA chairperson for elderly issues as well as leasing manager for Booth Gardens apartments in Gastonia, NC said “I I have had to go through downsizing, moving and transitioning issues for the last 7 years with my residnets and it takes a major toll on them. “  Booth Garden apartments offers affordable housing for adults 62+.  “There is such a need to help these folks with all the planning that goes into moving but also to have people involved that are sensitive to the needs and issues that older adults are dealing with even after the move is just as important.  That’s why I invited senior move managers Cindy Greer, CRTS and Karen Chisholm, MSW, CRTS because they have the knowldege, experience and compassion for older adults in this situation and can bring awareness and useful information to other SAHMA apartment managers, so that they may better serve their senior population.

Founded in 1982, the Southeastern Affordable Housing Management Association is a non-profit organization whose members are owners and managers of private and government-regulated housing throughout the Southeast.

She has been a great asset in her short time with us and we have introduced her to the many different aspects of what senior move managers do in their work with older adults as well as involve her in operations and marketing.   We are pleased to have her this semester.

One activity we wanted to expose her to was the moving and re-settling a client so she could not only experience the physical aspect of moving but also to witness the mental and emotional aspect of moving an older adult. Lica had an opportunity to work with one of our clients who presented a best case scenario— a 9o year old gentleman who was moving from one retirement community to another.  He and his wife had downsized to a one bedroom apartment 6 years earlier.  His wife passed away about a year ago and it was now time to make yet another change to be closer to his family.

Although he was in favor of moving and verbalized that he was ok with moving,  his body was not.  He developed a tremor in his hands which we informed the family to check out.  He was also displaying mental and emotional stress as he appeared anxious and nervous.  We knew immediately that this was classic RSS-Relocation Stress Syndrome.  Additionally our client was not entirely sure how he would adjust to his new home and neither did he know what to experience having non-family members pack his belongings and prepare him for the transition. 

 Our intern, Lica came in on the re-settling portion of the move. This is what she said:
I was fortunate to be able to assist in moving a client. I had never done a client move, so I had different feelings such as anxiousness and excitement. When, I walked into the home, labeled boxes covered the floor and movers were in the process of  delivering his furniture. However, I was there to make a difference, so I rolled up my sleeves and began cutting into boxes. It was a bit overwhelming at first but once we began sorting through boxes and organizing the home, I could see how important it was to put the apartment in order and I felt much better.  For a moment I pondered the thought, how would an older adult feel if they had to move with little to no assistance?

Re-settling his apartment was a bit overwhelming at first because I didn’t see the apartment where he moved from.  Once we began sorting through boxes and organizing the home, I felt as if I gained insight into his personality and got to know him a little better.  He was definitely a family man by all the pictures and gifts that I saw.  I could tell he had a passion or at least a great interest in birds. He was also spiritual based on the bibles and religious books that I unpacked.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a collection so large. Cindy had me take a walker and navigate around the home in order to make sure that he would have the room to do so every day. Karen had me unpack the kitchen and put the glasses and dishes back into the cupboard just as they were in his previous apartment.  Through hard work, effective communication, smiles, and muscles, we were able to make the environment safe, beautiful, and familiar. The experience made me see how important Karen and Cindy’s jobs are to older adults and how complex their business truly is in order to successfully accomplish relocating older adults.